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  #321  
Old 08-01-2010, 01:52 AM
anto12e anto12e is offline
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Hey,

Just a question about writing WS..should i strictly follow the order of the writing task? cuz i'm writing my essay and i thought that hinting the principle in the first paragraph might connect the essay better? Or am I complicating things that might lead to a lower ws mark?

Anthony
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  #322  
Old 08-01-2010, 02:05 AM
anto12e anto12e is offline
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Here's my essay..Prompt was sort of easy to brain storm.. so i thought i did relatively good.. please critique!


In business, it takes money to make money.

Describe a specific situation in business where it might not take money to make money. Discuss what you think determines when it takes money to make money in business and when it does not.



In the world of business, a business is an organization that has the intention of optimizing its profits by providing a service or product and money often plays a huge role. Any business that starts from the ground-up requires an investment. This investment generally comes in the form of money because of its versatility nature. Money can be used to provide the necessary business supplies, hire employees and cover the costs of manufactoring or distribution. Only when the business is established or have found its niche, an area where the business excel, can the business expect to see a profit. This monetary profit could've not have been achieved without the original monetary investment. This process can be seen with Apple's Iphone franchise. Apple's decision to enter the telecommunication field at such a late period, where many companies such as Sony and Samsung have established, meant that Apple would face tough competition. As a result, Apple needed to find its niche in the market and felt that the only way it could accomplish this was to find money into its research and development team. Apple spent billions of dollars developing the Iphone's user friendly interface, including the touchscreen capabilities. When the Iphone was released into the market, it became a huge success that led to an enormous profit. It was clear for Apple that it took money to create a product that could be marketed and produce a profit.


However, the busines world does not solely require one to invest money in order to make money. Many business entrepeneurs who are successful make money because of their valuable skills. These skills that are so unique, makes them one of a kind that they can themself market to make money. In the entertainment business world, many wealthy actors start their career by polishing their acting skills. Take Johnny Depp as an example. When he first started in the early 90's, he didn't have any money whatsoever. What he did have was a skill not everyone else had, a natural ability to act. This valuable skill allowed him to secure motion picture roles such as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Carribean. His compensation for this role was in the millions because he was the only actor who could accurately portray this character. In this case, Johnny Depp didnt' have any money to make money, he had a skill.


What determines whether it takes money to make money in a business and when it doesn't comes comes down to whether the business field of discussion. A business that invovles developing, distributing and marketing a product such as the Apple Iphone, doesn't solely depend on one person's skills. Instead, it requires an investment of money to cover the costs necessary to run the business. This original investment led to a development of a product that created an enourmous income. For a business such as in entertainment, skills plays a more important role in income than monetary investment. Johnny Depp, made his fortune by utilizing his acting skills and not by any money. Therefore, it is what the business emphasizes that determines whether money is needed or not to make money.
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  #323  
Old 08-01-2010, 07:03 AM
marfon marfon is offline
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Oh! It's very beautiful.
See new medical Shop.
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  #324  
Old 08-02-2010, 03:52 PM
Robio Robio is offline
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Hi, this is the first essay I wrote studying for MCAT, I was wondering if I could get some feedback on it. Thank you!



Some believe that technological improvements have stifled our creativity. In this context, creativity must be understood to mean the ability to express ourselves in unique ways. Those holding this position do so because many new technologies have reverted our attention from activities that promote this very ability, to others that encourage ourselves to be passive. This is apparent in the case of the advent of Youtube because in no ways does it engage our creative mind. The tremendous growth in popularity of Youtube has caused many of us to expend our valuable free time in watching videos that have no positive influence on our ability to express ourselves.

On the other hand, other people have objected to this view because while majority of the people watching Youtube opt for ďburningĒ their free time with undesirable videos, some use it to help broaden their creativity. Consider the example where a busy college student wants to use his free time to learn to play the guitar to express himself musically. Youtube can provide a convenient way of learning which would actually facilitate creativity by allowing the student to efficiently use the little free time he has.

We cannot simply assert that in all cases technological improvements have suppressed our unique expression. This will in fact depend on the userís discretion. If the user abuses the new technology to engage in passive activities, the improvement will invariably stifle the userís creativity. However, when the user recognizes that the new technology can be a more efficient method of pursuing the expression of the unique self, it will lead to an increase in creativity.
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  #325  
Old 08-25-2010, 04:36 PM
lvillema lvillema is offline
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Hi, I've been reading this thread and practicing writing essays for a while. I would really like to get some feedback. It's hard to judge my own essay. Any help is appreciated! thanks

Government policy should be directed at addressing the needs of the present.

The government has the main objective of implementing policies and laws that will solve or ameliorate societal issues. It is apparent that government policy should, in most cases, be directed at addressing the needs of the present. That is to say that the government should be primarily concerned with societyís current issues, rather than contemplating future concerns. Consider the current situation of increasingly growing wild fires in various regions of British Columbia. The provinceís political leaders are very concerned about the safety of those living relatively near the spreading flames and it is their primary objective to stop the fires from spreading and to ultimately end the forest fires before more damage results. The government has thousands of fire fighters and other fire-control crew that are working towards eliminating the fire and supervising the perimeter to ensure more fire wonít start.

On the contrary, there are times when it is favourable that the government focus on addressing concerns of the future rather than the needs of the present. Environmental concerns are a good example of an issue that the government often faces, although the effects of pollution and other things that are detrimental to the environment are not necessarily immediate. Climate change is an issue that does not directly affect todayís society in any significant way. Yet, many government bodies are putting more and more emphasis on environmental concerns. In Canada there are many policies that put restrictions on the amount of fuel exhaust that automobiles can emit. In addition, many companies have restrictions on the amount of pollution they can produce, and they are encouraged to reduce their usage of electricity. Although the detrimental effects of climate change are not completely obvious or significant in the present, the government does find it important to make policies restricting pollution in anticipation of it.

It may be difficult for a government to weigh the importance of present needs with future, anticipated needs. Yet, in almost all cases it is the present needs that are the priority. If immediate attention is not given to present needs, many detrimental effects may result that could have been avoided. The government of British Columbia needed to step in immediately in order to ensure all the necessary measures were being made to stop the dangerous forest fires from expanding. However, when present needs are temporarily met, are there are few present-day concerns that need to be dealt with, the government must take that time to contemplate future needs and anticipate issues that may arise. This is important because, by doing so, the government may be able to actually prevent a devastating outcome from occurring. Many governments are making more and more policies regarding pollution with the objective of avoiding the increasingly proven hypothesis of global warming.
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  #326  
Old 08-27-2010, 01:10 PM
premed89 premed89 is offline
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Hi everyone

I've only written a few essays so far and I'm finding that I have plenty of time to finish but my ideas are either not developed enough, or my examples aren't specific enough... Here is the writing prompt I worked with:

Consider this statement:
Education comes not from books but from practical experience.

Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which books might educate students better than practical experience. Discuss what you think determines when practical experience provides a better education than books do.
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All indiviuals learn through different methods, some live by certain methods while others are unsure and give different methods a chance. Education is a prime example of this, being that there are different approaches to learning material whether it be reading a book or maybe even from practical experience. A lot of times practical experience can be a better educational tool than reading a book. When we say this, we mean that actually performing a certain task or observing something being done, you will retain more information than simply reading it out of a book. Take for example, watching a surgery being performed. If you are standing by and a surgeon is telling you exactly what needs to be done, and your are seeing all of the steps directly in front of you, this experience will probably be more memorable, educational and understandable than reading all of the same information out of a book.

On the other hand, sometimes books may be a better educational tool than practical experience. Certain ideas and concepts may be too difficult to portray in a practical way and need to be taught by book. Different subject areas may define the best education that can be given. Science is learned extraordinarily well under practical circumstances while something like teaching history would have a higher inclination to use a book. Also, books are always around to be read whereas there may not always be an opportunity to get practical experience when topics need to be learned.

Both educational methods presented above have benefits but in the end it may be practical experience that can overule education from a book. Learning is about taking bits of imformation and expanding your view to see the big picture behind all the small things. Even material that may be very confusing or abstract, it could most likely be portrayed practically in some sort of way. This is where the two educational methods meet. Using books to learn certain things can always be portrayed practically in some way or another regardless of what it is. There is no limit as careful formation of practical experiences can teach the most confusing topics out there, relating the experience back to the material at hand.
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I really have no idea where I stand when it comes to the scoring of the WS, so if anyone knows approximately where I would fall could you please give me an idea? Also, feel free to tear my essay apart and really let me know how you feel about it lol... I don't mind, as it will be a learning experience...
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  #327  
Old 08-27-2011, 05:04 PM
SKhan33 SKhan33 is offline
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hi can someone please please read over this essay and tell me how it is. I only have two weeks to make any improvements. Thanksss!!




Health care for all is a realistic goal.

Describe a specific situation in which health care for all might not be a realistic goal. Discuss what you think determines whether or not health care for all is a realistic goal.


Healthcare is a universal goal for all citizens. It provides security to families in their time of need and ensures that they receive the best care. Without it, most families, without medical insurance, cannot even afford the ride to the hospital. People are constantly in car accidents, getting cancer, having heart attack and too many other problems to names. It is necessary for people to have medical assistance, considering the increasing amount of illnesses.

The documentary, Sicko, was created to show the world what life is like without health care. It revolves around people who do not have medical insurance, and due to the lack of health care, cannot afford to get their many ailments taken care of. One man was featured who has accidentally sawed off three fingers on his left hand. This included his ring finger. It would have been realistic for this man to hope that all three of his fingers could be reattached. However, due to the lack of healthcare he was unable to pay for all three fingers; therefore, he ad to pick one. Being married, he picked his ring finger so he would be able to wear his wedding ring. If healthcare was given to the citizens of America, that man would still have three fingers and many other people would have received proper treatment. When President Obama was elected, promised that he would bring healthcare to the citizens of the United States. This shows that everyone is aware that this is not an unrealistic goal, it just has not happened yet. If the government was not in a ridiculous amount of debt due to their presence in the Middle East, this goal might have been achieved.

Health care is necessary for people in western or European countries, because these citizens are aware of their government being able to provide it. However, in third world countries such as Tanzania or Somalia, healthcare is a far off hope. People of these countries do not live in the same luxury as us. They do not even have luxury to hope for things such as healthcare. They have the bare minimum when it come to almost anything. When someone is ill, they will most likely not receive medicine and if they are able to, it most likely will not be enough. There are far too many poverty stricken people in these countries for the unstable government to take care of. If the US still has not given their citizens healthcare, how can the government of these countries achieve that? For third world countries, health care is a far off hope.

If the government of a country is strong and has the necessary amenities to provide health care for its people, then they should. Because, it is the governmentís responsibility to take care of its citizens, since it was these citizens that chose them in the first place. Especially in Western countries, the government should be able to do so. Countries such as the United States, are highly industrialized, have good international relations and have one of the highest production rates in the world. The citizen pay their taxes, follow the rules laid out by the government and therefore, in return, should receive health care. It is not at all an unrealistic goal. However, third world countries do not consist of very strong governments. They are not industrialized, have very low economic growth and contain too many poverty stricken areas to take care of. People of these countries most likely do not even know the concept of health care and that many people have it. To them, health care is unreal.
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  #328  
Old 08-28-2011, 01:49 AM
globy321 globy321 is offline
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Thank you for reviewing my essays!! Please provide me some feedback

Successful politicians are motivated more by practical considerations than by moral values.
Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which successful politicians might be motivated more by moral values than by practical considerations. Discuss what you think determines whether successful
politicians are motivated more by practical concerns or by moral values.

Politicians are elected representative in public office. The role of politicians is to present the needs of the majority to the government. Politiciansí goal is to stay in office as long as possible. Therefore, their goal is to please their consitutents by listening to them and giving them what they need. This may include making decisions based on moral values and practical considerations. The majority of the constituents may request a decision that a politician may view as against their moral values or practically impossible.

Moral values of a politician may guide their decision making process that affects the lives of many people that elected them. Franceís President Sarkozy made the decision of calling upon the United Nations on drawing a resolution on intervening in Libya where Colonel Muhamed Gadafi was using force against his own people. Although the economy of France was struggling from the global economic recession, moral values were more important than practical consideration. The economic recession hit France hard, however ignoring the genocide that colonel Gadaffi was carrying out against his own people was morally wrong. Therefore, France with the help of the United Nations intervened with air strikes on Gadaffiís forces preventing attacks of Gadafiís forces on civilians.

The practical considerations are carefully thought when politicians make decisions that effects the lives of the people that elected them in office. Harper rejected the Koyoto agreement of setting limits for Canada to reduce greenhouse gas emissions because of the decline in economy that would cause. Stephen Harper refused to agree to such low levels of greenhouse gases because the countryís economy was in middle of a recession and further changes would destabilized the economy. This would lead to people losing jobs and the quality of living would therefore go down. Stephen Harper agreed to reduce a fraction of greenhouse gases that was set out by the Koyoto agreement because it was practically impossible to do so without destabilizing the economy leading to high rate of unemployment.

When the safety and survivability of people are in question, politicians are motivated more by moral values than practical considerations. However, when the safety of people are not at stake politicians carefully think about practical considerations which may have negative effects. Franceís president Sarkozy took military intervention in Libya because his moral values dictated that a human genocide should have higher value than practical considerations of going to war in the middle of economic recession. Harper refused to destabilize the economy leading to high unemployment rate by setting low limits to greenhouse emissions. Harper understood the fact that it was practically impossible to agree to the greenhouse limits in such a short period of time without effecting the economy negatively.


A personís first priority in life should be financial security.
Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the above statement means. Describe a specific situation in which a personís first priority in life might not be financial security. Discuss what you think determines whether or not a personís first priority in life should be financial security.

Financial security can be defined as the ability to meet oneís basic needs of living such as food, shelter, and clothing into the future. Financial security may have a different meaning to different people. One person may view financial security as being able to afford to travel the world, live in million dollar mansion and drive a Ferrari. Another person may view financial security as having enough money to provide a roof over the head for their family, provide food, and other basics necessities of life. People priorities financial security different depending on their upbringing and social circle.

The priority of a person in life may not be financial security. Princess of Protugal, Mary-Chaex Duboi, gave her fortune worth billions of dollars away to charity and family in order to marry the love of her life, Frank Debjak who worked a low paying job as a librarian. Princess Mary-Chaex could not legally marry Frank Debjak without giving away her fortune because of her family ties. Princess Mary-Chaex priority in life was love life and not her financial security. Her children were busy raising their own families, and since her husband died she did not have anyone to feel close to. Her wealth did not provide her with a good sense of security but the man who she fell in love gave her a better sense of security.

The priority of a college student in the process of developing their career is financial security. Micheal Tremble at the Kingston College gave up his dream of becoming a basketball player for the purpose of pursuing his passion in medicine. Micheal Tremble wanted to have a stable career that would provide a stable job with financial security. As a result he gave his chance of trying out for Toronto Raptors because of his acceptance to medical school.

Whether a personís first priority in life is financial security depends on the time of their age. If the person is young looking to develop their career as in the case of Micheal Tremble, then financial security is the first priority. If a person is in the old age and does not require financial security then they may choose someone to pass their time with instead of fortune. People in old age may prioritize companionship, love and friendship higher than financial security. Their time is limited and therefore, their priority is to spend the time with the people they love.
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