How do you deal with failure?

[magicant]

Hey guys, I recently applied for a rather "big" position that I really thought I had after my interview. It was something I was really excited for personally, and also admittedly it would've proved to be an extremely beneficial experience for me as a med applicant. However, as what you would suspect from the title of the post, I was informed I failed to attain the position :( I was wondering, have any of you guys dealt with failures during your lifetime, and if so, how do you guys react/deal with it? I feel so down whenever I get rejected and it feels like a punch to my stomach.

[anastasia]

Sorry you didn't get the position :(

I allow myself to be upset about it.. and usually I call my mom and whine about it. I remind myself that it's not the end of the world and that there will be other opportunities.
Rejection hurts, no doubt about it. Better luck next time :)

[Leon]

I allow myself to feel depressed for a while and then watch stuff/do fun things and work harder to make yourself a better applicant for the future. And, usually, better things come along!

[larva]

I totally agree with everyone when they say give yourself a few days to be upset. You obviously thought you had a good chance, and getting rejected never feels good. Punch in the stomach is accurate!!
I recently (Dec) had a very disappointing rejection from work. I really thought I was a top candidate, and ended up being ranked 15/19. After taking a few days to cry and sulk, I did some reflection and reviewed my application to determine how I can make myself a better candidate. There will always be more opportunities in the future, and my goal is to be ready for them when they come along.

Best of luck!

[kylamonkey]

A wise man once said:

"You can't always get what you want... but you just might find you get what you need"

I know that might not help right now, but you won't always get everything you want or you feel you deserve. Like larva said, take a few days to be bummed, and then you'll probably realise that it won't be so bad after all.

[Cerena]

Honestly, I think that encountering failure is just as important as succeeding. At first, it is heartbreaking especially when you feel it is unjustified because you sincerely tried your best. But, it is a great opportunity to reflect and to improve. No one is perfect, and a perfectionist can be miserable inside because all of their life was spent trying to attain the unattainable. Take moments of "failure" to strengthen and mature yourself.

As a med school applicant too, I've had to deal with failure... I did not get into medical school this year. But I have spent time trying to improve my application and in doing so have tried so many things this year: working at a hospital, writing and directing my own plays, composing music, coauthoring publications, improving my GPA and study habits, volunteering with emerg, volunteering as a patient for med students, exercising, balancing a relationship and family... I think if I had not been rejected, I would have lived in a bubble thinking everything was fine and would not have tried these things. I've learned so much this year, and I'm glad I've decided to be more gutsy, even if it means not being safe and trying new things. Sometimes, failure isn't failure at all. It's just a step in the right direction.

[hking03]

I've failed at not being friend zoned.

Repeatedly.

it's ok bud.

[HBP]

Watch failblog.org videos.

[proton]

I think of other times I've failed and how much better off I was eventually as a result - what I learned, what skills I developed, how it made me a better person, amazing people I met, realising who my real friends are, etc.

[GGGSaint]

A close buddy of mine actually pointed something out that I never considered w/ regards to dealing with failure (this came up when we were talking about how I went all out to upgrade my app after failing to convert at U/T last year):

I'm heavily involved with multiple sports (at various levels) and time and time again I've experienced failure whether it be chasing a local/provincial/national championship in a team or individual setting.

I hate losing at anything but at the same time I've grown accustomed to "failure" (so to speak) because I have experienced it so much in athletics (and so too has everyone else...unless they are a perennial winner in international ranks and those athletes are far and few in between).

The above is a bit off topic but I suppose my answer is that I analyze my mistakes and do my best to eliminate them when I try again. And I keep on trying. The hardest part is picking yourself up initially after failing.

[anastasia]

friend zone suuuuuucks... i feel your pain mith

re: the thread, i know it's cliche but i've always believed everything happens for a reason. obviously something better is waiting for you!

[thatonekid]

Sorry you didn't get the position :(

I allow myself to be upset about it.. and usually I call my mom and whine about it. I remind myself that it's not the end of the world and that there will be other opportunities.
Rejection hurts, no doubt about it. Better luck next time :)lol. I do that too. And then I usually go for a run and try to move on. The rejection just motivates me to want to do even better/work harder for another opportunity.

[muse87]

this is what i was going to advise, it takes a long time and a lot of reflection about why a certain event upset you and what premises that reaction is based on as well as questioning whether the very premise is valid, but eventually you get so detached from the external world and what should constitute happiness or failure that you enjoy every moment and can just tell yourself that you're happy, no matter what has happened, a lot of the new age guys (deepak chopra etc.) encourage this and it really works... it really makes you much more intense, paradoxically, since you take nothing seriously and just keep on going in spite of failure...

Having a detached mind helps as well. I don't but I know people who do who just go about their lives one second at a time. They also seem to be the type of people who don't see failure for what we see it as; they just enjoy it all.